Leo To the Rescue!

So, I decided the next step in forgetting Tom was to go away for the weekend. I'd go away longer, but can't afford to miss work. Plus the fact that I don't get paid vacation. My brother Leo gave me this getaway idea. We were talking on the phone and he suggested I come for a visit. Leo is married and his wife, Kendra, is about 4 months pregnant. Leo and Kendra live in Houston, he moved out there for a job about 5 years ago and I never see him. When he heard about my strange breakup he said "come for a visit! My treat! Just tell me when you want to fly in and I'll book you a flight!" Leo has always rescued me from troubles in the past and even though he is hundreds of miles away, he still finds ways to rescue me from my dramas. I feel bad having him pay for my flight - but he told me not to argue and that it wasn't a big deal.

Long story short, I took him up on his offer and my flight leaves tomorrow morning at 6:24am. I'm really excited! Can't wait to see Leo and Kendra. This is just what I needed to re-set myself from Tom and have a change of scenery... get out into the open country a little too. They have a beautiful house in the suburbs on about 7 acres of land. Leo designed the house himself, he's a really amazing architect. If I ever scrounge up the money for a house, he's designing it!

Anyway, enough for now... I should get going. I need to get packed, King already knows that I'm leaving because he sees my luggage. He'll be fine though its just for the weekend, besides he loves when the automatic food feeder comes out! Need to go online and figure out what we can and can not have in our carry-on bags... it's been awhile since I've flown anywhere ;)

Clutter

I knew if I was going to follow through with my new attitude and approach to break-ups, I'd have to remove all signs of Tom. I deleted him from my cyber world: cell, email, buddy list, etc. Then loaded up a couple boxes of his things for give away.

There wasn't anything that valuable to him and actually after going through things, he didn't have much at my place at all. He was too good to come to my place - didn't like the part of town, was allergic to King and generally just acted too good for my small loft apartment. He was always trying to get me to "de-clutter" as he would say. Anything decorative was "clutter" to him. He never appreciated all of my eclectic items spotted throughout the loft. He couldn't understand their value since the majority of them were from flea markets or the clearance rack. These little things make me happy. I have a little shelf hanging above my kitchen sink that is full of various items I've found along the way. My favorite on that shelf is a green and pink kitty I found at Big Lots, for $3. While these things were "clutter" to Tom, they are my little nick-nacks that make me smile.

As I remembered how unappreciative Tom was about all of my stuff, I found it pretty ironic that I was tossing his "clutter" into a big giveaway box!

Not A Secretary's Shoe

Right now I'm a secretary at a busy advertising agency, "Peak Point." I have nothing in common with my coworkers, and I'm tired of trying to fit into their click. Today, Jenny (the Assistant Manager of Coordinating and part owner) informed me that my heels were "too loud and distracting for the secretary." She went into a whole thing about how I'm supposed to be a representative of the agency and that I need to look more professional. Jenny was talking so fast that I didn't have to say a word except "OK" before she walked away. Oh, then at the end of the day I got an email copying the entire managerial staff that I was counseled on my appearance and agreed to work on a more professional look. Isn't that insane? My shoes aren't even visible since I'm stuck behind the desk all day.


This job just isn't "me." I shouldn't feel like an alien because I drink gas station coffee instead of Starbucks, I'm a beanery club member and every 5th cup at the station is free! Or, because I shop at Walmart and actually prefer it to Target. Or, how about the fact that I don't know one character on "Gray's Anatomy!" This obsession with these things is scary. It's not just in the agency either, it's everywhere! If someone says they need their "Starbucks fix," assume they also wouldn't be caught dead in Walmart or God forbid, K-Mart... and they are addicted to "Gray's Anatomy!" The point is, this just isn't my crowd and there is more to life than coffee drinks served in confusing cup sizes!!

Luckily - I don't consider this secretary thing my career. In fact, kill me now if this is all that I'll end up doing with myself! I am an artist at heart, but struggle to succeed with that because of a variety of personal flaws. To name a few: I'm not self-motivated, I procrastinate, I'm easily distracted, I rarely follow through with things, I can't make decisions, I'm an over-spender, I'm anxious, I lack confidence and I'm unorganized.

I was handed this secretary position from an Aunt with a connection. She new I needed a job, so put in a good word for me and here I am. I've been here for just over a year now and yearning to get back on track with my painting. Just need to find a way out of this rut.

In the meantime, I have already picked out tomorrow's shoes... they're big bright multi-colored stripes of green, chartreuse, pink and black. ;)

Some Of My Favorite Things...

As a continuation to my "Intro" here are some of my favorite things: Art. Colorful, vibrant, full-of-life art of all sorts. Swimming. Ideally in the ocean, but I'm mostly constrained to pools here. ;) Rooftop Sitting. Since I've always lived in the city, believe it or not this is one of the few places you can go to be alone. My loft apartment building has access to the roof. I'm not supposed to go up there, but how can you resist!? Shopping. My shopping buddy is Tina. Jane is too impatient to find a good deal, and my Mom doesn't always agree with my style. I'm a bargain shopper and if there is a chance someone else might own it, I won't buy it! Dancing. OK, this one is embarrassing because I actually can barely dance, but Tom and I have found that if you turn out the lights and light a few candles... you'll feel like your floating on air. Kayaking. Give me a kayak, a quite river or lake and I'm set for hours! Sunday Dinners. My Mom and Dad always have my brothers and I over for dinner (they trade hosting). We catch up, and for a couple hours it seems we all can get along. Cooking. Cooking shows that is, I'm still learning HOW to cook - actually... I'm a terrible cook! Piano Music. The sound of it makes me want to cry, and I love when it's solo without any lyrics. Green. My favorite color since I was a child. ;) "King." My kitty and little buddy, he's like my shadow. Coffee. What would the world be without it? However, I don't believe in Starbucks... the best coffee is brewed by a good friend, your Mom or your gas station on the corner that is totally underrated.

Enough Intro for now, tomorrow I'll start writing. ;)

Introduction

I've never kept a diary, but figured I'd start as an attempt to figure myself out and maybe bring some order to my chaotic, scrambled life. I'll try to write as often as I can. I'll reflect on the days past and toss around my thoughts. I'm not a writer, so pardon any run-on sentences, fragments, unfinished thoughts and grammar/spelling issues.

I guess I should quickly introduce myself... My name is "Dee." I'm 25, born on Halloween of 1983. I have 3 older brothers, no sisters. My parents split up when I was 16, both have remarried since. I don't believe in having friends just to fill up an address book... so, I just have 2 close girlfriends, Tina and Jane. I'm currently in a relationship with a businessman, Tom. We've been together for 4 months. My cat's name is "King," he pretty much rules our tiny one bedroom loft apartment. I have about 6 credits towards my fine art degree, but had to temporarily drop out because money is tight. So for right now I'm the secretary at a busy advertising agency downtown. - and this job is slowly driving me crazy so I'm eager to find something else.

More about all of this later, I just wanted to jot my introduction down. You'll soon learn that I'm prone to trouble and have a tough time getting out of it. As I mentioned, the purpose of this diary is to figure myself out!